Pair-O-Dice
Written by Carolyn Parker
To the tune of Paradise, written by Dennis DeYoung
One toss was all I needed to know
Pair-o-dice
Now safe in my arms
And all my sleight-of-handywork
(My) weighted dice
Now I'm safe behind bars
Interpretation
A song about cheating at gambling. This was originally printed in the 1998 Fool's Paradise, the April issue of The Main Event fanzine.
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They were the ones for me
My fate and my destiny
But if the offer's right
I'm guaranteed top flight
Will marvel at my good "grace"
(Bestowed from below...from a boiler-room shop
The craftsman's hand in "fate")
I'll take any place where
Suckers can be screwed
Before they realize
I've taken them for every chip of blue
To a safe in my wall - locked tight
A steel "guard"-en paradise
But sometimes, the best laid schmes go awry
I never thought that they'd
Be quick to investigate
And all that fortune and fame
That I'd scammed with a flick of my wrist
Just washed right down the drain
Were discovered when my
Ego played the fool
Before I recognized
Those agents underneath the pin-striped suits
Removed from the world of crime
Me and my pair-o-dice