I Will Be Your Hamster
Written by Balin Oakenshield
To the tune of I Will Be Your Witness, written by Tommy Shaw & Jack Blades
I woke up this morning
Took a look around
Saw my cage was floating
A few feet above the ground
A strange new person
Taking me away’
Tommy, please, I want to stay’
Then the horror gripped me:
You’ve given me away!
Started reminiscing
About when we used to play’
I was running slowly
Inside my plastic ball
You and Bubba chased me
I felt like we had it all
I miss the times you teased me
tappin’ on the glass.
Sorry ‘bout the time I bit your ass’.
I will be your hamster
That much I can do
Run for hours on my wheel
If that’s what pleases you
I will be your hamster
Give me one more chance!
I’ll Jump through hoops, clean up my poop
I’ll even hamster-dance.
Tommy, I will promise:
Never to bite your friends
I will keep my cage clean
I won’t escape again
Don’t need my freedom -
I need your company!
Wanna ride the bus with you and with Jeanne’
I will be your hamster
That much I can do
Run for hours on my wheel
If that’s what pleases you
I will be your hamster
Give me one more chance!
I’ll Jump through hoops, clean up my poop
I’ll even hamster-dance.
I will be your hamster
What else can I do?
Run for days through plastic tubes,
Whatever pleases you
I will be your hamster
I promise I’ll be good
I’ll stop chewing furniture
If you say that I should
I will be your hamster
Tommy, you will see:
If you take me home with you
How happy we will be.
I know that dog’s your favorite, but
I’ll make you forget that mutt ‘
I will be your ro-dent
Your new favorite pet
Tommy you just wait and see ‘
You’ll be a happy happy boy.
Woke up this morning
Laid in my cedar dust
Took a drink if water
Then I thought of us’
I miss the times you teased me
Tappin’ on the glass.
I’m sorry ‘bout the time I bit your ass’.
I will be your hamster
That much I can do
Run for hours on my wheel
If that’s what pleases you
I will be your hamster
Give me one more chance!
I’ll Jump through hoops, clean up my poop
I’ll even hamster-dance.
I will be your hamster
What else can I do?
Run for days through plastic tubes,
Whatever pleases you
I will be your hamster
Give me one more chance!
I’ll do some tricks, I’ll sing with Styx,
I’ll even hamster-dance.
Interpretation
The story of Tommy Shaw giving away his (fictional) pet hamster, from the hamster's point of view.
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